Truly Love

In honor of the month of February and Valentine's Day, I decided to post some thoughts on love that have come to life as examples of what it means to TRULY love. 


First: From "The Great Divorce" by C. S. Lewis
"While we spoke the Lady was steadily advancing towards us, but it was not at us she looked. Following the direction of her eyes, I turned and saw an oddly-shaped phantom approaching. Or rather two phantoms: a great tall Ghost, horribly thin and shaky, who seemed to be leading on a chain another Ghost no bigger than an organ-grinder's monkey. The taller Ghost wore a soft, black hat, and he reminded me of something that my memory could not quite recover. Then, when he had come within a few feet of the Lady he spread out his lean shaky hand flat on his chest with the fingers wide apart, and exclaimed in a hollow voice, 'At last!'...
'Darling! At last!' said the Lady....looking solely at the dwarf Ghost...Love shone not from her face only, but from all her limbs, as if it were some liquid in which she had just been bathing. Then, to my dismay, she came nearer. She stooped down and kissed the Dwarf....
'There, there,' said the Tragedian....'It's not myself I'm thinking about. It is you. That is what has been continually on my mind--all these years. The thought of you--you here alone, breaking your heart about me.'....
'Darling,' said the Lady to the dwarf, 'There's nothing to face. You don't want me to have been miserable for misery's sake. You only think I must have been if I loved you. But if you'll only wait you'll see that isn't so.'
 'Love!' said the Tragedian striking his forehead with his hand: then, a few notes deeper, 'Love! Do you know the meaning of the word?' 
'How should I not?' said the Lady. 'I am in love. IN love, do you understand? Yes, now I love truly.' 
'You mean,' said the Tragedian, 'You mean--you did not love me truly in the old days?' 
'Only in a poor sort of way,' she answered. 'I have asked you to forgive me. There was a little real love in it. But what we called love down there was mostly the craving to be loved. In the main I loved you for my own sake: because I needed you.'
'And now!' said the Tragedian with a hackneyed gesture of despair. 'Now, you need me no more?'
'But of course not!....What needs could I have,' she said, 'Now that I have all? I am full now, not empty. I am in Love Himself, not lonely. Strong, not weak. You shall be the same. Come and see. We shall have no NEED for one another now: we can begin to love truly.'....
'You who can be happy without me, forgetting me! You don't want even to hear of my sufferings.'
'Quick, there is still time. Stop it. Stop it at once.'
'Stop what?'
'Using pity, other people's pity, in the wrong way. We have all done it a bit on earth, you know. Pity was meant to be a spur that drives joy to help misery. But it can be used the wrong way round. It can be used for a kind of blackmailing. Those who choose misery can hold joy up to ransom, by pity. You see, I know now. Even as a child you did it....Did you think joy was created to live always under that threat? Always defenseless against those who would rather be miserable than have their self-will crossed? For it was really misery. I know that now. You made yourself really wretched. That you can still do. But you can no longer communicate your wretchedness. Everything becomes more and more itself. Here is joy that cannot be shaken. Our light can swallow up your darkness: but your darkness cannot now infect our light. No, no,no. Come to us. We will not go to you. Can  you really have thought that love and joy would always be at the mercy of frowns and sighs? Did you now know they were stronger than their opposites? I am in Love, and out of it I will not go.'"


Second: I Corinthians 13: The Love Chapter in layman's terms
"Love runs a marathon with blistered heels just to keep you company. Love won't take a break until you have what you need. Love doesn't get grumpy when you win the lottery, but refuse to share a penny. Love doesn't act like you're a stranger just because you're not at your best. Love, though perfect, isn't full of itself. Love doesn't push its way into places where it's not invited. Love never takes cuts in front of anyone. Love doesn't freak when you make a mistake. Love doesn't keep track of every single time you blow it. Love doesn't laugh when a jerk falls on his face. Love doesn't make the story bigger than it really was. Love keeps on running the marathon until it reaches the finish line. Love doesn't feel bad about what happened yesterday. Love sees the good in you even when you feel like a loser. Love can be spat upon, beaten, and murdered and still keep on loving. 

Don't Say a Word

Why is it 2:15 in the morning and I am blogging? because i need to do something. anything. I've never felt more convicted and wretched in my entire life- to the point of nausea and loss of breath. and i need desperately to make sense of it all. to understand fully what I've done to my Lord. and if this does not convict you, there is something truly wrong that you need to get on your knees and pray that the Lord reveals to you the depth of what i have found. and don't get me wrong- i am no where close to understanding this all. it in fact picked me up and slammed me hard on the cold floor of truth and i am still reeling and disoriented from the impact. all i can say is "Father, forgive me, for I know now what I've done".
i feel like the children of Israel. As we all know a very popular phrase in the Old Testament is "and the children of Israel did evil AGAIN in the sight of the Lord." maybe we should change it though.."[Sarah Elisabeth Kufel] did evil AGAIN in the sight of the Lord". I have offered up strange fire to my God. I have made countless excuses and changed the lines of right and wrong in my mind to whatever i wanted it to be at the time. My spiritual backbone dissolved quite a while ago and i have been holding it up with my own two hands so much so that i've tied them down so they cannot worship my Savior. To quote Jesse Lacey of Brand New "I've seen more spine in jellyfish, I've seen more guts in eleven year old kids." I have not stood for what is right but for only what did not cost too much sacrifice out of me to stand for. It was so easy for me to do wrong and then convince myself either a) it wasn't wrong in the first place or b) that the Lord forgave me. Now let me elaborate: I am not saying He did not forgive me, for He is a forgiving God no matter the magnitude or quantity of sin. The problem was not that I cannot accept God's forgiveness but rather that I have taken it for granted. That i have made excuses to Him and treated His forgiveness, and love, and peace as things that i was supposed to receive with no sacrifice on my part.
What kind of relationship is that? To have a relationship is a two-way street, a multitude of give and take. Yet all I do is take, take, and take some more. I do not "change"- i just cover up my sin and change my definitions of right and wrong. And right here, right now, in my hour of conviction I can hear the Lord whispering in my ear: "Oh, that one of you would shut the temple doors, so that you would not light useless fires on my altar! I am not pleased with you, says the LORD Almighty, and I will accept no offering from your hands" (Malachi 1:10 NIV).
I am not going to end this by telling you how I am going to change or what I am going to do from here because I refuse to let any more empty promises come from this mouth. If I truly want change and I truly want to turn my life around, you will see my actions. The good Lord has cut me open and revealed the inner workings of my heart to me- when He does this to you, do not attempt to understand at first and to tell Him that you know already. For once, just fall to your knees and say nothing. Let the full reality of what you have done sink in, down deep to your toes. Let it curdle in your stomach. Let it take your breath away like a punch to the solar plexus. Don't say a word. Just do it. Please.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGMG_PVaJoI WATCH THIS.

Father, forgive us: for we know not what we've done. 1/22/73

As we all know today marks the 39th anniversary of the infamous Roe vs. Wade case that legalized abortion. This particular topic has been one that lies heavy on my heart. I have written countless papers and indulged in so much information so as not to be ignorant in any way regarding this touchy issue that defines life. I will avidly share all I know and speak in defense of the many innocent lives that do not have a voice. We cannot be ignorant regarding this matter. We cannot afford to be. So many pass this off as "whatever its not my body or my baby" and adopt an "i don't care" attitude. This is not acceptable. I ask you, if you happen upon this blog to read it in its entirety. I know it may seem long, and some if it should make you sick, but its worth the read. Below I have attached one of my papers that I have written on the topic of abortion. Do not throw this issue aside. Coming up, is a bill called the Heartbeat Bill which will determine that a fetus is considered a human being when the heartbeat is first heard. This is a massive deal and will affect this topic considerately. Here is the website:

http://www.heartbeatbill.com/

Call your senators, do your part. There are human lives at stake. My prayer is that God would forgive America and wash this innocent blood off our hands. 

Abortion is Murder

Abortion, an epidemic that is killing off thousands of innocent unborn children each day, is spreading throughout our world. Current death rates would be doubled in many states and countries if the abortion death rate were to be included. We are killing off our generations as the true inclusive death rate soars higher than the birth rate. This epidemic is one of the most debated issues of our time. The definition of abortion may differ based on the personal beliefs of each person, but the true definition is: the termination of pregnancy resulting in the death of a fetus. Pro-choice groups may try to tell you that the woman owns the rights to the child, while pro-life groups believe that individual life begins with conception. No matter your personal beliefs, abortion kills an innocent human being, and it must be stopped!

            To know more about abortion, we first must go back to the root of the problem when abortion was legalized in 1973, during the Roe vs. Wade case. “Jane Roe,” otherwise known as Norma McCorvey, lied to the court, saying that her pregnancy was the result of gang rape, therefore, she “needed” an abortion and deserved the right to choose. Manipulated by two young lawyers, McCorvey signed her name on the affidavit that brought this horrible plague upon our world. McCorvey was pregnant in 1969, had the baby before the case was decided in 1973, and gave it up for adoption. Today, she is strongly pro-life and is working hard to overturn the Roe vs. Wade case (American Family Association).

One of the greatest arguments against abortion is that of botched abortions. These special cases occur when the doctor attempts to abort the child, yet they still live but are now plagued by many serious health problems. Ana Rosa Rodriguez was born missing her right arm when it was ripped off in the abortion process. Besides the missing arm, she is a perfectly healthy little girl (Priest for Life). A lot of abortion survivors were originally twins, when the other twin was aborted, leaving them the sole survivor such as Sarah Smith, who is the sole survivor of a D & C abortion that killed her twin brother, Andrew. After surviving the procedure, Sarah was born with bilateral, congenital dislocated hips and many other physical handicaps. Just six weeks after birth, she was put in a body cast and needed surgeries every five years. She suffered from loneliness, severe depression, and anorexia nervosa at the age of 12, because she felt like something was missing before her mother finally told her the truth. Sarah is not ashamed but very grateful that God saved her, and she gladly tells of her miraculous story and has invited everyone to join in the cause to stop abortion (Pro-Life America). Other cases have different side effects but mainly include the feeling of emptiness and that something is missing. Some children have been found to sleep in the fetal position and constantly have nightmares of small rooms and knives. Even when in cases where babies were almost aborted, their mind was already putting together memories of the abortion; this shows in the symptoms of other abortion survivors (Scribe and Scribe).

No one can ignore the statistics that are evident in the United States and in the world. Globally, there are approximately 42 million abortions per year and 115,000 per day. In the United States there are approximately 1.37 million per year and 3,700 per day. In 2005 New York City had 122,725 births and 57,068 deaths (Center for Bio-Ethical Reform). Not counted in these numbers were the 88, 891 legal abortions (The New York Sun). H. Ratner, M.D. once said, “In times past, abortion took the life of one, for otherwise two would die. Today, abortion takes the life of one, where otherwise two would live” (Heritage House).

According to information given by the Heritage House website, abortion procedures vary according to the trimester of pregnancy the mother is in. The only form of spontaneous abortion is called a miscarriage, which normally occurs at home with little danger to the mother- sometimes occurring without the mother even knowing she was pregnant. However, most abortions are planned events. In the first week of pregnancy, micro-abortions can be caused by drugs such as RU 486, methotrexate, and prostaglandins. The first trimester of pregnancy consists of three different types of abortions: menstrual extraction (often done before the pregnancy test is positive), suction-aspiration (where the baby is torn to pieces and then sucked out of the womb), and dilatation and curettage (which works the same way as suction-aspiration).

            The most common type of second trimester abortion is saline amniocentesis, or salt-poisoning abortions. The baby is poisoned with a salt solution which burns it inside and out. The mechanism of death is acute hypernatremia, with development of wide-spread vasodilatation, edema, congestion, hemorrhage, shock, and death. Another form of abortion in this trimester is dilatation and evacuation, where an instrument is used to tear the baby’s limbs and crush the skull.

Third trimester abortions are done after four or five months of pregnancy when 80% of the babies are normal and viable, yet they are still aborted. This procedure is called brain suction or partial-birth abortion. The infant is delivered feet first, with the exception of the head. Scissors are jammed into the base of the skull and the brain is sucked out. F. Boehm once said, “There are no medical circumstances in which a partial-birth abortion is the only safe alternative.” Abortions that take place in the third trimester are completely the choice of the mother and not because of a handicap or medical health problem (Heritage House).

            Reasons for an abortion can differ depending on the situation for each mother. Legal abortions can take place for only six reasons: 1) if the abortion is needed to save the life of the woman, 2) to prevent the woman from experiencing permanent disability, 3) to prevent the woman from having serious health problems, 4) when the fetus is so malformed that it will only live a matter of hours after birth, 5) when the fetus has a chromosome abnormality such as Down Syndrome, 6) and where the pregnancy was the result of rape or incest (Ontario Consultants). Other arguments pro-choice groups use is that population problems are occurring rapidly in the United States, but in reality, the United States is in a population decline (Eden Communications).

            Rape or incest is often used as an excuse to have an abortion even though these cases are extremely rare. Yes, the child was conceived during a traumatic time, but why make two traumas by killing the child as well? Is killing a child because it could become burdensome or suffering for the rest of its life a good enough excuse for the murder of an innocent human being? Why not then kill all the people in hospitals or nursing homes because they are also being “burdensome”? We are a free country; not a country ruled by a dictator like Hitler who used that exact same policy. Which is better to remember? “I gave my baby life. And because I loved him, I gave him into the arms of a loving couple”- or to remember, “I selfishly ended my baby’s life” (Eden Communications).

            The consequences of abortion can often be worse than the procedure itself. Many women will need counseling because they know in their hearts it was the wrong thing to do. Emotional scars range from depression, to repressed emotions, a hardened heart, loss of maternal instincts, feelings of guilt and suicide, and the loss of the ability to get close to others.  The physical impact also takes its toll on the woman’s body. Some women have died because the abortion procedure went wrong and their uterus was ruptured, causing them to bleed to death. The cervical muscle may be damaged resulting in miscarriages or premature delivery in future pregnancies (http://www.emmerich1.com/ABORTION_ CLINIC.htm).  Approximately two out of ten women who abort their first pregnancy will never be able to have children again (http://www.emmerich1.com/ABORTION_CLINIC.htm). Years after an abortion, the woman’s body will still feel like a part of it is missing, and may go through a physical depression because it doesn’t know what happened to the baby that it was creating.

            In the abortion world, there are two main groups that are constantly arguing: pro-life and pro-choice. Pro-life groups are against abortion and believe that if murder is against the law, then killing a baby ought to be as well. They believe that God has called them to defend the innocent and be the voice of the unborn children. Pro-choice groups believe that the mother has the right to choose what to do with her body. You can’t ignore the evidence whether you’re pro-life or pro-choice. Yes, women have rights, but rights come with responsibilities. Abortion puts the woman’s personal interests and comfort above the value of the life of the baby.

            Pro-life groups’ main argument is that life begins with conception. According to an article from the Heritage House website, at no time in your life does more growth and change occur than in the first nine months before birth. On the day of conception all of the inherited features of this new person are already determined, even though it is smaller than a grain of sugar. On Day 18-20, the foundations of the brain, spinal cord, and nervous system are laid. On Day 21, the eyes begin to develop. On Day 26-27, the lungs begin to form. On Day 28-32, two tiny arms appear along with the legs. On Day 44, 99% of the muscles are present, each with its own nerve supply. At 11 weeks, the baby can make complex facial expressions and even smiles. At about 4 ½ months, the baby can even experience pain. Some other signs of life include the heartbeat, which begins on the 21^st day, and the fact that the life in the womb can even have a different blood type than the mother making it an independent life with its own DNA (Heritage House). According to science, the fetus is biologically alive if it meets the four criteria needed for life- metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction- all of which the baby does have (Ontario Consultants). It is not only a woman’s body that must be considered in the decision to terminate the child, but the entire flesh and blood of a living, human being- not a useless lump of tissue. As Sarah Smith said during her speech in Rome, “Show me one piece of tissue or cancer you believe must be cut out with a beating heart. Show me a liver that has its own blood type. That child is perfect from its first day. All it needs is time, oxygen and nutrition.” It is even said that the fetus will retract away from the death instruments and will fight to live during an abortion procedure. Does this not prove that this fetus is a real human, able to detect pain and to attempt to defend itself from death? Pro-Choice groups say that the mother owns the child within her, but to own another human is to reintroduce slavery. Each human should have a right to its own body.

            One important factor to discuss is that of the Biblical truths concerning abortion. In Genesis 9:6 it says, “Whoever sheds man’s blood, by man his blood shall be shed, for in the image of God He made man.” Deuteronomy 27:25a says that, “Cursed is he who accepts a bribe to strike down an innocent person.” Lastly, Proverbs 6:16-19 states, “There are six things which the Lord hates… haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood…” Now whether or not the unborn child is a person does not matter, for the Author of the Bible did not recognize a material difference between the two. The Bible shows that personhood comes from knowing God, and consistently links our personhood to the time we are formed, or even before in God’s mind (ChristiaNet). Even some old time philosophers recognized abortion as wrong. Mark Felix, a Christian lawyer stated, “There are some women among you who by drinking special potions extinguish the life of the future human in their very bowels, thus committing murder before they even give birth,” (Heritage House) Barnabus said in 74 A.D., “Thou shalt not slay the child by procuring abortion; nor, again, shalt thou destroy it after it is born,” (Heritage House) Tertullian said in 210 A.D.,“The Law of Moses, indeed, punishes with due penalties the man who shall cause abortion,” (Heritage House).”If a mother was to think about how incredible the formation of a baby through her body really is, she might have a different perspective on whether or not to terminate the pregnancy” (ChristiaNet). Any baby is a blessing from God no matter how it was conceived. God would not put a child in anyone’s life if He did not already have great plans for it. To have an abortion is to take lives into our own hands forgetting that God loves everyone completely. Jesus died on the cross and gave of His body so that you and I could live. The gift of a mother’s body for nine months is one of the most beautiful gifts of all time. We must do everything we can to protect it (Pro-Life America).

We are Gonna be Friends

This weather is tricking me with hints of spring..ready to just go take a nap in the grass. Thought I would share this photo with you. I did not draw it mind you lol- not even close to being that good- but a close friend of mine did. The song lyrics are my doing but it's what comes to mind when I see this picture. I think of spring, start humming, and then before i know it, i'm singing off-key with the White Stripes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFRiHeAuuk8

Fall is here, hear the yell
Back to school, ring the bell
Brand new shoes, walking blues
Climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we're going to be friends
I can tell that we're going to be friends

Walk with me, Susie Lee
Through the park and by the tree
We will rest upon the ground
And look at all the bugs we found
Safely walk to school without a sound
Safely walk to school without a sound

Here we are, no one else
We walked to school all by ourselves
There's dirt on our uniforms
From chasing all the ants and worms
We clean up and now it's time to learn
We clean up and now it's time to learn

Numbers, letters, learn to spell
Nouns and books and show and tell
At playtime we will throw the ball
Back to class, through the hall
Teacher marks our height against the wall
Teacher marks our height against the wall

We don't notice any time pass
We don't notice anything
We sit side by side in every class
Teacher thinks that I sound funny
But she likes the way you sing

Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed
When silly thoughts go through my head
About the bugs and alphabet
And when I wake tomorrow I'll bet
That you and I will walk together again
I can tell that we're going to be friends
I can tell that we're going to be friends